Check Mark Twain Quotes at CollectiveQuotes.
1. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. — Mark Twain
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2. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. — Mark Twain
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3. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. — Mark Twain
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4. Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. — Mark Twain
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5. When angry, count to four when very angry, swear. — Mark Twain
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6. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. — Mark Twain
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7. If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first. — Mark Twain
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8. We have the best government that money can buy. — Mark Twain
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9. Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it. — Mark Twain
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10. It is not best that we should all think alike it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races. — Mark Twain
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11. Prosperity is the best protector of principle. — Mark Twain
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12. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. — Mark Twain
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13. It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. — Mark Twain
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14. Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks. — Mark Twain
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15. A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. — Mark Twain
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16. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. — Mark Twain
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17. It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. — Mark Twain
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18. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. — Mark Twain
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19. I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. — Mark Twain
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20. The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. — Mark Twain
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21. Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. — Mark Twain
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22. In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. — Mark Twain
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23. Don’t let schooling interfere with your education. — Mark Twain
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24. I’ve never let my school interfere with my education. — Mark Twain
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25. Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. — Mark Twain
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26. Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. — Mark Twain
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27. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. — Mark Twain
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28. I never let schooling interfere with my education. — Mark Twain
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29. Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. — Mark Twain
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30. A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. — Mark Twain
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31. Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. — Mark Twain
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32. Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. — Mark Twain
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33. It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. — Mark Twain
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34. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. — Mark Twain
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35. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. — Mark Twain
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36. All generalizations are false, including this one. — Mark Twain
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37. By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean. — Mark Twain
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38. Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. — Mark Twain
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39. God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. — Mark Twain
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40. Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired. — Mark Twain
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41. Man – a creature made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired. — Mark Twain
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42. I can live for two months on a good compliment. — Mark Twain
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43. Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. — Mark Twain
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44. It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. — Mark Twain
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45. Golf is a good walk spoiled. — Mark Twain
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46. Thunder is good, thunder is impressive but it is lightning that does the work. — Mark Twain
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47. Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. — Mark Twain
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48. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. — Mark Twain
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49. Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. — Mark Twain
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50. There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. — Mark Twain
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51. To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble. — Mark Twain
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52. What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. — Mark Twain
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53. Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. — Mark Twain
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54. Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it. — Mark Twain
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55. Laws control the lesser man… Right conduct controls the greater one. — Mark Twain
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56. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. — Mark Twain
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57. I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. — Mark Twain
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58. My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. — Mark Twain
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59. There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one – keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. — Mark Twain
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60. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. — Mark Twain
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61. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. — Mark Twain
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62. The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. — Mark Twain
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63. Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain
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64. Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing. — Mark Twain
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65. Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. — Mark Twain
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66. The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow there is no humor in Heaven. — Mark Twain
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67. Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. — Mark Twain
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68. You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. — Mark Twain
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69. I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. — Mark Twain
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70. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. — Mark Twain
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71. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. — Mark Twain
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72. To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. — Mark Twain
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73. What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. — Mark Twain
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74. When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. — Mark Twain
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75. Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. — Mark Twain
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76. The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. — Mark Twain
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77. The lack of money is the root of all evil. — Mark Twain
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78. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. — Mark Twain
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79. Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. — Mark Twain
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80. Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself. — Mark Twain
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81. Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed. — Mark Twain
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82. When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. — Mark Twain
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83. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. — Mark Twain
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84. The finest clothing made is a person’s own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. — Mark Twain
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85. All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure. — Mark Twain
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86. A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. — Mark Twain
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87. Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. — Mark Twain
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88. A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. — Mark Twain
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89. I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time. — Mark Twain
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90. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. — Mark Twain
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91. It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. — Mark Twain
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92. Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. — Mark Twain
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93. Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn’t. — Mark Twain
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94. When in doubt tell the truth. — Mark Twain
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95. Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. — Mark Twain
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96. Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain’t so. — Mark Twain
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97. Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t. — Mark Twain
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98. Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. — Mark Twain
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99. Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. — Mark Twain
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100. Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. — Mark Twain
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