【Top 19】Henny Youngman Quotes

Collection of Henny Youngman Quotes at CollectiveQuotes.

Henny Youngman Quotes
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1.    Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.    —   Henny Youngman
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2.    I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.    —   Henny Youngman
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3.    My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.    —   Henny Youngman
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4.    I know a man who doesn’t pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.    —   Henny Youngman
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5.    My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad but New York City?    —   Henny Youngman
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Our other interesting quotes for your reference David Hare Quotes

6.    If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.    —   Henny Youngman
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7.    If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.    —   Henny Youngman
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8.    This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!    —   Henny Youngman
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9.    I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.    —   Henny Youngman
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10.    What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.    —   Henny Youngman
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11.    Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.    —   Henny Youngman
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Our other interesting quotes for your reference Ted Kulongoski Quotes

12.    The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.    —   Henny Youngman
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13.    She’s been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.    —   Henny Youngman
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14.    When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.    —   Henny Youngman
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15.    I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.    —   Henny Youngman
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16.    A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.    —   Henny Youngman
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17.    Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.    —   Henny Youngman
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Our other interesting quotes for your reference Helle Thorning-Schmidt Quotes

18.    This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he’s Frank and in Chicago he’s Ernest.    —   Henny Youngman
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19.    I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.    —   Henny Youngman
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