【Top 24】W. C. Fields Quotes

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W. C. Fields Quotes
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1.    The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.    —   W. C. Fields
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2.    Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.    —   W. C. Fields
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3.    When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.    —   W. C. Fields
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4.    Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?    —   W. C. Fields
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5.    I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.    —   W. C. Fields
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6.    Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.    —   W. C. Fields
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7.    All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.    —   W. C. Fields
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8.    Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.    —   W. C. Fields
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9.    I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.    —   W. C. Fields
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10.    Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.    —   W. C. Fields
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11.    I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.    —   W. C. Fields
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12.    I like children – fried.    —   W. C. Fields
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13.    Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.    —   W. C. Fields
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14.    I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.    —   W. C. Fields
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15.    Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.    —   W. C. Fields
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16.    Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.    —   W. C. Fields
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17.    A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.    —   W. C. Fields
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18.    It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.    —   W. C. Fields
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19.    Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.    —   W. C. Fields
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20.    If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.    —   W. C. Fields
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21.    There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.    —   W. C. Fields
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22.    You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.    —   W. C. Fields
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23.    No doubt exists that all women are crazy it’s only a question of degree.    —   W. C. Fields
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24.    Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.    —   W. C. Fields
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