Great W. C. Fields Quotes at CollectiveQuotes.
1. The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. — W. C. Fields
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2. Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch. — W. C. Fields
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3. When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. — W. C. Fields
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4. Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting? — W. C. Fields
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5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. — W. C. Fields
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6. Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink. — W. C. Fields
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7. All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. — W. C. Fields
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8. Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. — W. C. Fields
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9. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. — W. C. Fields
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10. Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. — W. C. Fields
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11. I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. — W. C. Fields
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12. I like children – fried. — W. C. Fields
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13. Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil. — W. C. Fields
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14. I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home. — W. C. Fields
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15. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. — W. C. Fields
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16. Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. — W. C. Fields
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17. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. — W. C. Fields
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18. It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. — W. C. Fields
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19. Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against. — W. C. Fields
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20. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. — W. C. Fields
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21. There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. — W. C. Fields
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22. You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. — W. C. Fields
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23. No doubt exists that all women are crazy it’s only a question of degree. — W. C. Fields
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24. Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one. — W. C. Fields
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